ABC Online Dictionary

archives

December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
September 2005
December 2006

credits

layout by qamuri
javascript from dynamic drive
based on dictionary.com

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Barcardi and vodka lime.

Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! it's 'booky' time again! Cause my dear brother has just been released from 'Neurotic Sanctuary' (NS) to come home for Good Friday and has decided to be Neurotic at home too and hog the computer to play CS.

Now, POP QUIZ! Is Good Friday the same as Easter? And what do rabbits and eggs have to do with Easter? Is it the day where we get to gobble little rabbits and chocolate eggs?

Oh! Please do enlighten me. For i have this old, cranky grey rabbit sitting in a rusty cage in the corner of my room, and SPCA's too far away!

hmm. What shall i lament on today? Hmmm. How about... my pet peeves? Since this is MY blog and MY ranting space I shall have the whole right to talk about ME, ME, ME!!!!!!!!

uh. yea.

As i was saying before narcissm took over, pet peeves. Everyone has got pet peeves. some i can understand, but some are just so irrational! Oh, but this is about ME remember? So i'm not gonna talk about other peepsy's problems.

AND NOW! LADIES AND GERMS & dat pervert sitting behind the computer reading some adolescent's blog for self-gratification. I NOW PRESENT THE TOP 4 PET PEEVES OF MUAH! (yes and dat means.. ME.)

Firstly. The Slang Dictionary(wtf?) from Besta CD-89 Electronic Dictionary, states that a Pet Peeve is defined as: A favourite complaint. eg; My mother's pet peeve is that we never straighten up our bedrooms. (oh... y is it that i'm not surprised?)

SO NOW LADIES & GERMS & old pervert. I WILL NOW PRESENT TO YOU MY TOP 4 PET PEEVES... BUT "NOT TODAY, IT IS NOT TODAY! TODAY... WE FIGHT!!!!" (LOTR junkies would know this.)

ok! ok! i shall stop digressing and proceed, finally, to the ROAYAL LIST OF PL'S PET PEEVES! (PPP).

At #4:

People talking to me when i'm watching TV. dats a BIG no- no. Shall i display how big? How about this- NO!NO! And especially when i'm watching Desperate Housewives. Like some people are trying to conventrate on the sexy garderner here?!?! HEllo?!?! *waves hands with bewildered look on face ala bimbo*.

#3:

Having a crazy plonk as a bus partner. You know how when we were little kids and when we go on excursions we always "choke" a bus partneR(as in "reserve" someone to sit with you in case prospective partner elopes with someone else and you are forced to sit alone, OR worst still, with MISS TAN! THE HORROR! That kinda "choke", not "choke" your partner, as in crush his/her windpipes la.)

But when we take public transport, we dun have such a luxury right? But dat doesn't explain why i always get the crazy plonks? Some twitch a lot as if THEY are uncomfortable with sitting next to me. ME! ALMIGHTY ME! Some just keep talking incessantly about the weather, how the bus is too crowded, about tiger oil... (isn't it tiger balm?) ALL TO THEMSELVES!

Just yesterday when i was taking a bus home, this really well-dressed old woman with really ticklish long grey hair sat next to me and started a conversation with none other than... *drum roll please!*... HERSELF!

I almost thought both of us could become best friends cause she's as misantrhopic as i am.
Misanthropic Old Lady: I thought holidays the bus would be empty. How come still so crowded???"

(Note that there were no people standing when she boarded the bus, and 36's usually damn packed around that area where she boarded. She even got a seat!)

Me: *smiles politely, tries to look away and pretend to fall asleep*.

(Hey! Gotta give me some credit here alright. I actually pretended to nod away.)

MOL: See that girl, huh? Still talking on the phone?! (With relevance to....??)

Me: *pretends to snore*

MOL: HUH!? How come got tiger oil smell? Bus got tiger oil?

Me: *Desperately trying to move away from her that i almost became spider-woman and stuck to the window*

(note toom that i was sitting on the inside and that means only one thing: THERE'S NO ESCAPE FROM THE MOL!!! ARGH!!!

MOL: Mother. yadda yadda. *incoherent garble* Daughter.

Me(thinking): Say whah...t?

Finally! She got off at St Patricks. Mayb she teachers there. hah! After she alighted, i found myself staring at her back as she waddled off the bus. Part of me, the imaginative part, was wondering whether she would turn around slowly and wave to me, complete with eerie green light illuminating her in the background, and i would stare in horror as i realise, SHE DOESN'T WALK!! SHE FLOATS!!!

AHHHH!!! Dats almost as scary as Pinky who haunts the Singapore Indoor Stadium. Remember Pinky? If you don't, go search my archives!

#2:

Lizards. Especially small black ones, which hide in the spaghetti closet and leap out whenever i open the closet door.

When i tell people that i hate lizards, they often give me a "How could you...?!?!" look. And then they will proceed to educate me about how lizards help to rid pests like Mozzies.

Yea RIGHT.

Wait till you meet Blacky, The Friendly Spaghetti Closet Dweller. I tell you, your life will never be the same again. I suspect, that his main, and ONLY goal in life, is to scare the shit outta me whenever i feel like having spaghetti.

"Take that you stinky spaghetti eater!" He exclaims whenever i leap a mile away from the closet.

"That would teach you to stay away from my tall thin yellow friends from Italy! HAH!"

...

UPDATE! UPDATE! Apparently while i was writing this, i was yet to be informed that The Friendly Spaghetti Closet Dweller has MOVED!!! i repeat, HE HAS MOVED!!!! To where, i don't know. Just, please, i beg you, not the underwear closet!

And finally, #1:

Ooo... This pet peeve has to do with the one about crazy plonks as bus partners. That is-Crazy Plonks not only sitting next to me, but crazy plonks ANYWHERE in the bus! They are EVERYWHERE i tell you.

I recall, there was this bespectabled middle-aged man. He always went to the same bus-stop as me and he was never caught without headphones and... wait for this... a WALKMAN! Where do you find a walkman these days?

oh wait. i dun wanna know.

I swear, this guy. uh. Let's call him... Walk-man. I swear Walk-man has the same motto in life as my best friend Blacky. And that is to scare the shit outta me.

Walk-man always seems to take the same buses as me, but he never ever gets off before me and that also only means ONE THING! And that is i'll have to tolerate his crazy ways for the whole of my bus journey. DANG!

And you might ask: So in what way is he crazy?

*creepy music starts playing in background.*

Well... how about shouting every few seconds in gibberish and mumbling under his breath all the time? And he always seems to be scolding/cursing someone? The problem is, none of us passengers could ever see the "someone".

*creepy music gets louder*.

After being mentally tortured by Walk-man(there was once i so unfortunately had him stting behind me.) quite a few times, I grew smart. I devised a plan which would guarantee my safety, AND my sanity, and also decrease my contact with Darling Mr Walk-man.

Here's how i do it:

Everytime i reach the bus stop i'll keep my eyes open for Walk-man, but of course, only using the corner of my eyes. I wouldn't want Walk-man thinking that i'm admiring his dashing good looks eh.

So, when i see a bus approaching i will hold back and wait. If Walk-man flags the bus, i will not take it. If he doesn't approach, I will run up the bus and bribe the bus uncle with a peck on the cheek so he'll slam the door shut immediately in case Walk-man changes his mind.

Yes. yes. i made the last part up. No sexy bus uncles for me, no thank you. So, what happens when you HAVE to take the same bus as him? You ask.

Ez-peazy. I just wait for Walk-man to get on the bus first. AFter he chooses a seat most condusive for his ranting, i'll then search for the seat furthest away from him, and VOILA! The craziness is effectively reduced!

Now, now. Don't look down on Walk-man here... HE CHANGES SEATS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BUS RIDE!...and when that happens...There's....no....running...away....

*creepy music comes to a crescendo!*

And that ends Your truly's Top 4 PET PEEVES. Actually. i think they shouldn't be called Pet Peeves. More like:

YOUNG PEI LIN AND HER MANY ADVENTURES ON SBS, assisted with her trusty sidekick- BLACKY!

In the day we are students, at night we are 'sisters'. I'm Dolly, she's Sally. We play by our own rules, we dun care what other's think of us. We take E, Smack K, and also Fishermen's Friends. That day when we taking Fishermen's Friends, we 'kenna' raid by CNB. They say the Mandarin Ginger flavour too smelly. From that day onwards, Dolly and Sally only eat Tic Tacs.

blogged on _9:48 PM

_______

(Click that thumbnail again to minimise this blog)